they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
