Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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