So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
