every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
