you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
