I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
