so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
