Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
