dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
