I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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