Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
