I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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