I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We left the knife in your bed.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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