make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize