i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
