4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
