Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
