i barfeds in our rink
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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