She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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