your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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