hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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