well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
