I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
