woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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