I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
