yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
