Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize