I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
