Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
