We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
