he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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