girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
