Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The air was thick with penises
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
