Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
