Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
