farters have to be the big spoon...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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