Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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