i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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