That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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