Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
