I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
COCAINE IS GR8
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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