there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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