So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
