i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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