that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
