You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
