Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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