We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
