that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
