Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
