ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
