"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
