so that wasnt chicken after all
one two three fourrrrnication!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize