I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
