pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
