suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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