i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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