So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
