were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is Oprah even human
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
